Achieving: Penny Arcade's ORPOD Ep. 1

Penny Arcade is one of the few regularly updating webcomics that is actually funny too. ORPOD, or On The Rain-Slick Precipice Of Darkness, is a Paper Mario/Super Mario -ish Role Playing Game. That said, it simply means that it's a turn-based RPG, with interactive combat. You can block attacks and special attacks are powered by pressing buttons, instead of simply selecting attack.
But, I am getting off-topic here. This is an Achievement Guide, not a review of the game.
You can get all of the achievements in one playthrough, if you have the patience to keep loading if you fail.

Stray Cat - 5G - Earn a support character.
Most likely the easiest achievement, all you need to do is meet T. Kemper, the support kitty. He is the first of three support characters. Meow.

Nine Lives - 15G - Kill an enemy using T. Kemper's basic attack.
Unlockable as soon as you get your special attack, use your special on one of the starter robots, but miss ONE of the targets. this should bring it down to 1 HP. Then unleash the kitty. Only do this with T. Kemper ready, as you apply a bleed effect with the rake's special. This should unlock it, unless you have T. Kemper crit ofcourse.

Pacifist - 15G - Only use counterattacks, health items, or distraction items to win one battle.
Another easy achievement. In the first area, in the beginning, there are robots that do not deal alot of damage. Don't attack them, but only block instead. This can be done even in the first fight. As you progress in the game, the enemies become tougher and the achievement harder to get.

All Together Now - 5G - Do a Team-Up attack involving all three party members.
This one can be done as soon as Tycho's special unlocks. Don't expect the animation to be fancy though. Keep blocking untill the entire party has it's special ready, Tycho will be the last to have it ready and Gabriel the first.

Fight 'Em With Items - 20G -Find and use every item in the game at least once.
Simple, use all of the items. There are 3 items in each of these catagories: Healing, Damage, Buffs and Debuffs in that order. And there are 2 distraction items. One for robots, one for mimes. However, make sure that you have enough of each for the last boss.

Level Awesome - 20G - Get all party members to Level 15.
No tips here, just fight every foe you can find.



Steel Devils - 15G - Find and destroy all the robots in the game.
Look out for thing like milkbottles, suitcases and even seagulls. In the map, you can see if you still have parts to collect. Sweep the area's systemmatically, one panel at the time.

Immortal - 20G - Play and win the game without allowing a character to die during combat.
Save ALOT. And, if you haven't mastered blocking, prepare to load ALOT. Especially the "Now I'm a Fencer"attack from the mimes and the fat hobo's attacks are hard to block. Especially the latter deals ALOT of damage... to the entire party. Also, heal! Exept for the last boss, if you want the Silent, But Deadly achievement.

Silent, But Deadly - 30G - Fight, and destroy the final Boss without using any healing items.
Okay, keep your support characters ready, items fully stocked, be skilled in blocking and use only your special attacks. No healing though... Oh, and have your weapons fully upgraded.

Clean Sweep - 30G - Kill all enemies.
Another self-explainatory one. Defeat every enemy in the game, this includes all of the robots and the bosses. This one unlocks after the final boss, so before you go fight him, check all of the area's for hostiles.

Pack Rat - 15G - Find and collect all of the hidden collectibles scattered around the game.
Gotta catch them all!.. Oh wait, wrong game. You need to collect 12 concept arts and 5 albums. Here is where they are, Area, panel, w/e you need to inspect:

• Desperation Street - Cul-De-Sac - In your neighbour's mailbox.
• Desperation Street - Cul-De-Sac - Mailbox on the opposite side of the road of the house where T. Kemper is sitting.
  
• Desperation Street - The Orange Tree - Mailbox in front of 1121 Desperation St.
• Desperation Street - Cul-De-Sac - Mailbox at the house where you meet T.Kemper.
• Anne-Claire’s Room - The photo above the window.
• Anne-Claire’s Room - The lamp next on the nightstand.
• Anne-Claire’s Room - Behind Anne-Claire on the shelf.
• Hobo Alley - Cheswick & Grove - The wanted poster on Witch-B-Gone.
• Hobo Alley - West Chesnut Park - Rubbish Pile, easily regocnizable because during the Animated Trash mission, that's the only place where you will find three bins at once.
• Hobo Alley - Grove Bend - Poster on the pub’s window.
• Hobo Alley - The Sh*thole - Picture next to the entrance.
• Hobo Alley - The Sh*thole - Meat Grinder in the robot room.
• Pelican Bay - Tollbooth - At the big icecreams hanging next to the red token minigame.
  
• Pelican Bay - Midway - Behind the Mimes at the far end of the area where you get the green tokens on a door.
• Pelican Bay - Promenade - At the huge anchor.
  
• Pelican Bay - Unlocks when you entertain Madam Zodora Fortune Teller.
• And the last one is unlocked on defeating the Final Boss.

Yeah, it took me a while.

A Winner Is You - 10G - Complete Episode 1.
I assume this achievement needs no explaination. This one is unlocked at the same time you unlock Clean Sweep, Silent,But Deadly and Immortal... Meaning after the final boss. I hope you enjoyed the game.

(Please note that I say robot instead of the robot's real name due to obscenity. It might offend someone)

Achieving: GTA IV

GTA IV has achievements that I personally divide in 4 catagories:
Story, Faffing About (as Yahtzee would say it), Social and Multiplayer.
The story ones are gained by doing missions, the faffing about is by doing sidemissions and stunts/endless searches/mindnumbing grinds. Social is done by the dating stuff in GTA 4 and Multiplayer are the XBL ones. Most of these achievements are done by me, but there are a few tiresome and tedious ones that I will talk about without having done them, just to get the guide out on time.

A few control tips (for the X360): When you need to switch weaponry, use the left bumper and a direction on the d-pad to switch weapons. Up = Assault Rifle, Down = Shotgun, Left = Pistol, Right = Grenade. Right bumper is for taking cover, use it. When aiming, press the right control stick to zoom in a bit for more accuracy. The game tells you all of this, but if you missed that, you know now.

Story Achievements:
Off The Boat - 5G - You have completed the first mission.
Simple achievement, just start the game and play.


Feed The Fish - 5G - You completed the mission "Uncle Vlad".
Same as "Off the boat", by following the missions you'll get this one eventually.
Simple mission, nothing special.

Lowest Point - 5G - You completed the mission "Roman's Sorrow".
Finally a mission achievement that's fun to get. Break out the guns and save your cousin. Again, just follow the mission. Small tip though: When you go on a mission that you never did before, stop by the weapons shop to buy some armor. You'll need to be able to take a few more hits and you never know how missions are going to end.

Impossible Trinity - 10G - You completed the mission "Museum Piece".
Another fun shootout. Make sure to take cover. This mission kind of starts an entire chain, so no need to get bored after this one.

Full Exploration - 20G - You unlocked all the islands.
Although it's unlocked by completing the missions, it's kind of a miscellaneous achievement. Just do your missions and it'll unlock. Packie tells you to help his brother, who's on the last island. Easy.

Gracefully Taken - 10G - You completed the mission "I'll Take Her".
This is a fun mission. No spoilers, but she likes to take over the wheel. That is, untill you knock her out. Then you can drive in peace again. Too bad Niko has to kidnap her, she digged Niko's accent.


Social Achievements:
Retail Therapy - 10G - You unlocked the special ability of buying guns from Little Jacob.
Hang out with Jacob untill he calls you that you can buy guns from him. If you select "Guns" at his topic on your cell phone, he'll set up shop from his trunk nearby, with lower prices. He'll call you often enough, just go with him when he calls.

Driving Mr. Bellic - 10G - You unlocked the special ability of Roman's taxi.
Same as with the Jacob one, exept that you can be a taxi driver now. Easy, but I didn't bother with all of the social ones untill later in the game.

Faffing About Achievements:
Order Fulfilled - 10G - You completed all 10 Exotic Export orders.
At some point, just after you met Brucie, Roman calls you about a business proposition with Brucie. Brucie wants you to steal cars. Simple. A few tips: If you see people hanging around the target vehicle, kill them first. Otherwise they'll drag you out of the car and beat you to death with a bat. It happened to me. 5v1 isn't the way to go without a gun. And if the car is being driven, shoot at it. The driver will run away.

Courier Service - 10G - You completed all 10 package delivery jobs.
Once you're done with the Little Jacob missions, he will call you for jobs. When you feel like doing one, take your phone, select him and then select "job". He will tell you to pick up a car at his cafe and you need to bring it to the buyer/dropoff point.
Tips: Don't fight the cops if they arrive, just flee. If you just need to drop it off, expect a gunfight with a rival gang. And if you are on a timer, keep your cell phone out so you can keep track of the time. Also, your GPS tells you the correct way, according to all the traffic rules. Use your own GPS system (the one in your head) to take shortcuts through one-way streets and alleys.

One Hundred And Eighty - 10G - You scored 180 with 3 darts.
EASY! I took Roman out to play darts and I got it in the second game, just be patient. Although your aimer is shaky, it is still easy.

One Man Army - 40G - You survived a 6 star wanted level for a full 5 minutes.
This one is easy, if you know how to do it. A good friend of mine gave me this tip: Just play the game untill you can get a rocket launcher and then make your way to a restaurant in Alderney named Mr. Fuks Rice Box. Once there, climb to the roof via the ladders and then climb onto the fan to get on the large flat top of the roof. Once there, note the large airco system. Take cover behind it, so neither the cops on the street or on the lower part of the roof can shoot you, since they can't climb to where you are. Shoot them and once the N.O.O.S.E. comes, just use a rocket on their car to blow them away. Make sure you take cover. Once you get 6 stars, go get a cup of tea or something while Niko is in cover.

King of QUB3D - 15G - You beat the high score in QUB3D.
Beat the most tedious puzzle game ever. The score to beat is a mere 10950 points, it only took me three tries. When I was handed over GTA IV by a friend, he told me that this puzzle game was a "3d Tetris". Not true. Just watch the tutorial. The arcade machine may be hard to find, but there is one in Modo menswear in North Holland, on the middle isle.

Walk Free - 50G - You successfully lost a 4 star wanted rating.
Strangely enough, I wasn't trying to get this one, I was trying to make a 500 feet wheelie at the airport. Once I was there, I noticed that I had 4 stars once I broke into the airport. Nice. I drove away, fleeing untill I got to the very edge of the wanted zone, got off my bike and walked the remaining few feet. As the stars disappeared, I got an achievement. So the tip is: use a vehicle to get away, get out and walk the remaining few metres.

Assassin's Greed - 20g - You completed all 9 assassin missions.
You can get this later in the game, when one of your contractors tells you that someone has work for you. As an assassin. For these missions, get yourself a sniper rifle and a rocket launcher. Every mission there is some armor and a weapon behind some crates for you to pick up, but the sniper and the rocket launcher get the job done easily. First mission is snipe-able, second done with the RPG, third sniping again, same with fourth and the rest is rocket launcher work. Well, exept for the last mission and one in which the target lures you in an ambush.
Some specific mission tips:
Migration Control: Get a motorcycle and drive up all the way till the helipad and use the rocket launcher while the heli is still on the ground.
Taken Out: The limo is the car you need. Ambush it with a rocket launcher and then get out of there, his bodyguards are in the last 2 cars and they will shoot you.


Multiplayer:
Ah, multiplayer, the bane of my gaming existence. I'm not bad, others are just better. Actually, I actually won something with GTA IV. I can't really give advice on multiplayer, too many variables :P. If I achieve something here, it's by grinding and luck.

Word of advice: Before you try the co-op types, gain a few ranks. I was kicked out of several games because of my rank (rank 1 :( ). Although the co-op ones give ALOT of xp, you need a team, not some loose players.

Let Sleeping Rockstars Lie - 10G - You killed a Rockstar in multiplayer.
This one was spookily easy. First kill I made in deathmatch, BAM! Achievement unlocked. He was trying to escape in a vehicle. I had a rocket launcher. You do the math.

Cut Your Teeth - 5G - You were successfully promoted up a rank in multiplayer.
I won my first match, so up I went! Easy 5G. What they don't tell you (or atleast they didn't tell me) is that you unlock more clothing for your online avatar each time you gain a rank. Ofcourse, they say clothing, but you unlock additional faces too.

Teamplayer - 10G - You killed 5 opposing team members.
I played a team deathmatch. It's fairly easy to get 5 kills in 20 minutes when you're playing 8 versus 8. Note: You need 5 kills in one match.